


the opening of a door

by wrennette



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Adopting all the kids, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Hopeful Ending, Minor Character Death, Obi-Wan in the Rebellion, Padmé Amidala Lives, Past Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, a bit angsty, acknowledgement of some EU stuff but it's not really important, life on the run, threat of spousal abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 03:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14824518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrennette/pseuds/wrennette
Summary: Padmé never ventures to Mustafar, but Vader still rises with the Empire. Padmé is a mother first, but loyal to the Republic second. Good thing she still knows a Jedi she can trust.





	the opening of a door

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nervoustouch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervoustouch/gifts).



> title filched from Emily Dickinson.

_After the Death of Count Dooku_ , Padmé heard still echoing in Obi-Wan’s strained tones. _I have seen a security hologram_ , he had explained and Padmé - Padmé could imagine it all too well. Anakin, Fallen. She remembered the way Anakin trembled with grief and rage after slaughtering the Tusken Raiders who had kidnapped and killed his mother. She remembered the rampaging fury with which he beat Rush Clovis nearly to death - the way he’d yelled at her that his nearly lethal jealousy had nothing to do with her, that she had no say in Rush’s fate. She remembered his many, many diatribes against the Jedi High Council as the war stretched on, his claims of their obstinacy and fallacy, and how over time he'd begun to paint Obi-Wan with those same broad stokes, although she'd only ever noted concern for Anakin, or pride in Anakin's abilities on Obi-Wan's part. She remembered the way his eyes would narrow and cloud when she argued against him, and how she’d always carefully de-escalated the situation.

_Killing younglings - deceived by a lie_. 

It was all too possible. 

_The Chancellor is the Sith Lord we’ve been looking for_ , Obi-Wan had said, and this too, felt possible. Plausible even. Horror froze Padmé, stilled her hands and killed her words.

“I am so sorry,” Obi-Wan said, and strode toward his starfighter, raising his hood as he went. 

“Wait,” Padmé finally called as he reached the edge of the platform, and Obi-Wan turned, face set in a flat mask that did nothing to disguise his anguish. His eyes had gone a dull grey, and Padmé had seen him like this only once before, devastated after the death of Master Qui-Gon Jinn. “I will not tell you,” she said. “I - I know he is dangerous. But I love him Obi-Wan. I can’t - I cannot betray him, even now, even knowing this.”

“And when he returns from whatever errand his new Master has sent him on?” Obi-Wan challenged. “How long will you excuse him Padmé? How long before he turns that rage on you, if he hasn’t already?”

“He would never hurt me,” Padmé defensively declared, drawing herself up as straight as possible. 

“You don’t believe that,” Obi-Wan scoffed. “I loved Anakin, Padmé. Until today, I couldn’t have imagined he would betray us. But he has. Anakin is worse than dead now. And that monster wearing his face…. Vader is loyal only to Palpatine.” Padmé wanted to argue Obi-Wan’s statement, but she knew all too well that Anakin - even if she didn’t believe he was gone, subsumed under this monstrous Sith presence, he had never permitted criticism of Palpatine in his presence.

“I would go into hiding then,” Padmé said, raising her chin defiantly. “I will not betray him, but if I was in danger, I would go to a place of safety.”

“And stay there?” Obi-Wan asked with gentle disbelief. He crossed back to her, lightly laying his hands on her shoulders. “Padmé, you can no more ignore the destruction of our Republic than I can. You’ve been fighting for peace and justice for more than a decade. I think only death could stop you at this point.” She looked away at that, a little annoyed to have been read so easily.

“I will not tell you where he has gone,” Padmé reiterated stubbornly. Obi-Wan sighed.

“I did not think you would, but it was worth trying. Be safe Padmé. I doubt we shall see one another again,” Obi-Wan said, and Padmé couldn’t help but be a little heartsore at the idea. Obi-Wan had been in her life as long as Anakin, and been almost as influential. He looked tired, as he never had before, even during the long years of the war, and he must have had to fight his way free of - wherever he had been stationed. She knew Anakin had told her where Obi-Wan was sent - had complained at length about Obi-Wan being sent after Grievous instead of himself - but she hadn’t bothered to remember, and it was unimportant now.

“Go in peace,” Padmé said, unable to wish him a better future than that when he was hunting Anakin. Obi-Wan gave her a brittle smile, and bowed deeply. 

“May the Force be with you,” Obi-Wan returned, and this time, Padmé didn’t watch him go, didn’t call out or try and stop him. Instead she crumpled onto her gracious sofa, wondering what to do. She wanted badly to go after Anakin, to demand an explanation. But again she remembered him all but non-verbal with rage when Rush had tried to kiss her. She’d been afraid - for him, yes. But also _of_ him. 

_Younglings_. 

_Not just the women_ , Anakin’s shattered, tremulous voice whispered in Padmé's mind. No. If she went to Anakin she would have questions, and she feared Anakin’s answers far too much. Better to remain here in ignorance, and instead learn what she could about this new Empire. 

The next days passed in an anxious blur for Padmé. There were occasional sessions in the Senate, but there was no real business to do there, and no one had any information, just rumours. How long, Padmé wondered, had it taken Anakin to reach Mustafar? Padmé didn’t even know where it was, or if it was a planet or a moon, and it couldn’t be found on any easily accessible galactic star charts. 

Had Obi-Wan caught up with Anakin by now? 

Was she a widow at not-yet-thirty? 

Was Anakin on his way back to her, having slain his former Master? - their friend?

Or maybe - maybe Obi-Wan hadn’t been able to find Anakin? 

Maybe they were both safe? 

Each night she prayed that was the case - that Obi-Wan hadn’t discovered Anakin’s destination, that he was in hiding somewhere and Anakin - _her_ Anakin, not the monster Obi-Wan had seen wearing his face - was on his way back to her.

When the black armoured monstrosity appeared at the newly declared Emperor’s shoulder though - Padmé knew that her payers had not been answered. Anakin - _her_ Anakin - the sweet boy, the awkward young man, the beloved husband - was gone. _Lord Vader_ , he was introduced, and a summons came for Padmé shortly after that introduction. 

“Padmé,” the vocoder said, and despite that any emotion or distinctive pronunciation was blanked by the mechanization of the voice, Padmé knew him instantly, her every anxious supposition given form. Padmé took a shuddering, agonized breath, feeling as if her lungs were burning as her eyes fell closed, flooding with tears.

“Anakin,” Padmé said, hating how small and pained her voice came out. 

_This isn’t you_ , her mind screamed. Where was her husband, the man she loved, who promised her the war would soon be over, and everything alright?

“I will protect you,” Vader said firmly. “You will be safe now.” 

_I was safe before_ , Padmé wanted to rail. Instead she nodded, and tucked away her urge to gnash her teeth and beat at Vader's armoured chest.

“What happened?” Padmé forced herself to ask that night, staring her reflection in the eye as she brushed her hair before bed. 

“That traitor Yoda,” Vader hissed. “He attacked the Emperor, and when he failed, he came after me. Me! The Chosen One!” Vader paced, ranting. The babe in Padmé’s belly kicked and rolled, clearly agitated. “He’s the one who betrayed the Republic!” Padmé nodded nervously, holding her tongue. 

_You've changed_ , Padmé thought, _you're going down a path I cannot follow_.

_How long before he turns that rage on you_ , Obi-Wan’s voice whispered quietly in her memory, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was safe, if he had never made it to Mustafar or arrived to find his ancient mentor’s body instead of his sworn brother.

Three months, as it turned out, was Padmé’s grace period. She had returned to Naboo to give birth, attended to by the midwife who had birthed Pooja and Ryoo, Sola at her side to act as doula. Vader had paced anxiously the whole time, terrifying Padmé’s father and irritating her mother. Finally though, after nearly a full day of labour, she had borne two beautiful children. Luke. Leia. Vader had been overjoyed, and for the next few months, almost obnoxiously solicitous, fetching any little thing Padmé might wish, waiting on her hand and foot, staring at the babies in utter adoration. Padmé allowed herself, in those months, to hope that there might be something of Anakin in Vader still. 

“They’re strong in the Force,” Vader said when they were about three months old. He stood over their bassinet, and a sliver a fear pierced Padmé’s heart. 

“So?” Padmé asked with studied nonchalance. “Even if there were still Jedi, it is my prerogative as their mother to keep them, to raise them myself.”

“They will be trained,” Vader said firmly. “They will be my apprentices, and together, we will be able to overthrow the Emperor, and rule as a family.” Padmé blinked, barely able to comprehend. She was all for overthrowing the Emperor, but she had no wish to replace him with another autocrat. Vader turned. “I know you are unhappy,” he said, something like contrition in the line of his shoulders. “And you have always ruled wisely.” Padmé swallowed thickly, forcing a thin smile as she remembered that sunlit meadow, so many years ago now.

_If it works_ , the naïve and sweet-faced Anakin of her memory said, and Padmé’s heart broke anew. Even if there was something of Anakin left in Vader, it was not the best and brightest parts, not the earnest young man she had adored.

“I have no desire for such a legacy,” Padmé said lightly, and Vader turned, his hand raised. The pressure was oh so light, as if he were actually resting his hand at the base of her throat. And yet there was no mistaking it. He would choke her without dirtying his hands. He would kill her and deliver their innocent little children to the monster who’d twisted him into the shadow of the man she’d loved, as he'd slaughtered the infant Tuskens at their mothers breasts, as he'd stuck down the Jedi younglings in their creche. 

“You would make an magnificent Empress,” Vader said firmly, and then he was gone, dark cloak flapping behind him. 

_You're breaking my heart_ , Padmé couldn't help but think as he stormed away.

_No_ , Padmé decided as she lay staring at the ceiling, long after Vader had sealed himself into the portable hyperbaric chamber that assisted his lungs. She could not continue on this way. _Would_ not continue this way, living her life in fear, raising her children in a hostile household. She had no inclination to be Empress, and every indication that her wishes in the matter counted for little and less to Vader. And the children - the children had to be her primary concern. She had to disappear with the children. 

Vader thankfully left before long, called away by his Master. Almost before his ship cleared the gravity well of Naboo, Padmé was on her encrypted comm to Alderaan. She couldn’t risk contacting Bail on Coruscant, but if there was anyone she could trust, it would be him and Mon Mothma. Three months after that, after another tense visit by Vader, Padmé traveled to Aldera, to visit Breha. Her cousin and former handmaiden Sabé traveled with her, as both assistant baby minder and co-conspirator in planning their disappearance.

Breha welcomed them warmly, and cooed appreciatively over Luke and Leia. She had wanted to be a mother, Padmé knew, but had been unfortunate in all her attempts so far, miscarriages and stillbirths coming one after another. Bail joined them a few days after Padmé’s arrival, and Padmé couldn’t help but stare at the figure half hidden behind him. 

“Obi-Wan?” Padmé blurted out, and won a wan, weary smile. 

“Ben now,” Obi-Wan said, voice strained and thin. “I clearly wasn’t paying close enough attention to your briefing, your Highness,” he accused Bail, who shrugged slightly, then crossed to greet his wife and meet the babies. Obi-Wan came too, trailing along in Bail’s wake. “They’re beautiful,” he said softly, accepting Leia into his arms. She cooed gummily up at him, and Obi-Wan smiled back, touching her round cheek. “How long are you visiting?”

“Ah,” Padmé said, flushing. Obi-Wan’s eyes widened, and he shifted Leia with the ease of someone practiced at handling babies, then reached out, cupping Padmé’s cheek as he searched her face. Something of her troubles must have shown in her expression, some tension around her eyes or the downturn of her mouth.

“He hasn’t harmed you, has he?” Obi-Wan asked urgently. 

“No, no,” Padmé affirmed, reaching up to lay her hand over Obi-Wan’s on her cheek, savouring the warmth of that unassuming touch - it seemed it had been ages since she was touched with such gentleness, such kindness. “He hasn’t hurt me. Nor the children. But I - I couldn’t - I need to leave him. Sabé and I have the beginning of a plan, but - well.” Obi-Wan nodded, then gently kissed her forehead before exchanging a look with Bail. 

“Disappearing people happens to be one of my specialties,” Obi-Wan said with a small, wry smile. “Lady Sabé, are you disappearing as well?”

“I am Master Kenobi,” Sabé said and Obi-Wan nodded. 

“Papers for a pair of refugees then? Young widow and maiden sister?” Obi-Wan asked, and Sabé and Padmé both nodded. Was it really possible, Padmé wondered dazedly. Could it be that easy? “Do we have a time frame?” Obi-Wan asked. 

“Not really,” Padmé said. “I’ve told Lord Vader I’d like to remain on Naboo for the most part until the babies are fully weaned, so that I have the support of my friends and family.”

“Aside from Bail, who else would you visit off planet?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you have any hobbies Vader already knows about that you might travel for?” Padmé gnawed briefly at her lip. 

“I used to volunteer for the Refugee Relief Movement, but I wouldn’t want to take the children on a mission, or implicate those already in desperate need of help themselves,” Padmé said thoughtfully. “That and the Legislative Youth Program were all I was really involved with before running for Princess of Theed and then Queen. Now that I’m officially retired, I don’t have many reasons to leave Naboo, other than visiting friends. And most of my friends are on Coruscant.”

“What about your Uncle Ondo,” Sabé suggested, and Padmé lit up. 

“Onaconda Farr, who was the Senator for Rodia,” Padmé explained to Obi-Wan. “He retired in disgrace, but I know he’d help us go missing if we went to visit.”

“And Rodia is a dangerous enough planet that having an accident there wouldn’t draw too much undue attention,” Obi-Wan said thoughtfully. 

“In a few months at the earliest?” Padmé asked Sabé, who nodded. 

“You’ll have to see him at least once more probably,” Sabé said with a grimace.

“I can handle that so long as I know that he’ll never get his hands on the children,” Padmé said grimly. “I could ignore danger to myself,” she told Obi-Wan, seeing his eyebrow lift in curiosity. “But he said he would train my children, and use them to overthrow the Emperor, then put me in that cursed throne.” Obi-Wan closed both eyes, then nodded. 

“Could you stay on Rodia long term?” Obi-Wan asked, and the two women traded looks again. 

“We were hoping we might be able to help Bail, eventually,” Padmé said, and Bail smiled. 

“At the moment, we’re mostly getting set up,” Bail said, and proceeded to tell them about the formation of what would one day be a full blown rebellion against the Empire. Obi-Wan contributed to the tale, giving the briefest hints at his own involvement in the effort, mostly through the transportation of both goods and people to places the Empire did not want them. Padmé didn’t doubt either, that when it came time to fight, Obi-Wan would be in the thick of it.

“So if we stayed hidden for a few years, raising the children, it would - we wouldn’t be missed?” Sabé said. 

“I wouldn’t say that,” Bail said with a slight smile. “But we can make do for a little while. Your family should take precedence.” And there was that same sad look that had been in Breha’s eyes the first time she held Leia. Padmé’s heart ached for them - if ever there was a couple that ought to have been blessed with children, it would be Bail and Breha. 

Obi-Wan only stayed that night on Alderaan. Before he left though, he got all the necessary information for Padmé and Sabé’s new identities, and also gave them the frequency for his encrypted comm. Padmé returned to Naboo much more at peace, knowing that they had a way out - knowing that Obi-Wan would be personally ensuring their safety. This Empire would not last forever, and she intended to see democracy and the Republic restored. 

Six months after their trip to Alderaan, Padmé, Sabé, Leia, and Luke went to visit retired Senator Onaconda Farr on Rodia. Never much of a tourist hot spot, Rodia had fared even more poorly since the rise of Empire. It was no secret the Emperor loathed non-human sentients, and saw them as second class citizens. Rodia, by virtue of being further out from the Core and staunchly Republican, hadn’t suffered as badly as some worlds. Geonosis was all but a wasteland, having been bombed heavily and repeatedly as a Separatist world. 

A week into their stay on Rodia, Padmé and Sabé arranged a fanboat tour of the nearby swamps. Usually such charters were for the purpose of hunting, but the company didn’t mind sightseers, and they even had a new human employee to send out with their off world guests. Padmé carefully kept from smiling at Obi-Wan until they were well out of the city and deep into the swamps. They’d seen a few large predators, but Obi-Wan reassured them he already had a spot picked out for their unfortunate demise. He’d preceded them to Rodia by about a month, and spent that time scouting out a good location and preparing their escape route. 

Killing the motor, Obi-Wan helped the two women out of the craft and to solid ground, then returned to the boat. Reversing back a bit, he steeled himself, then reached out with the Force. It was fairly easy to slip a piston in the engine, and then the craft was spinning toward a rocky outcropping. 

At the last moment, Obi-Wan leapt free, and the craft slammed explosively into the rocks, then went up in flames. Drawn by the noise and heat of the blast, a massive Kwazel Maw surfaced from below and began lipping at the wreckage. If there had been any bodies aboard, it would have happily eaten them. As it was, the scavenger left plenty of distinctive bite and claw marks, giving evidence of their presumed fate. Carefully, Obi-Wan led his party of fugitives to an aircar hidden nearby.

By the time news reached the Core of the tragic fate of Padmé Amidala and her cousin and children, Obi-Wan had brought them off Rodia, and begun a circuitous route towards a lightly populated planet in the Outer Rim. Lah’mu, Obi-Wan told them, was mineral rich but off the beaten path. Colonization had been mismanaged, and the planet had been untouched by the Clone Wars, having no valuable resources to benefit either side. Since the rise of Empire, Obi-Wan had been helping dissidents escape to many worlds like Lah’mu, and they would be safe there. 

On Lah’mu, one of their neighbors Lyra Erso helped ‘Perri Dall’ and ‘Serra Dall’ settle into their new farm. Like most residences on Lah’mu, it was a small, domed habitation with built in storage and a clunky climate unit. Their water would come from the vaporators that had been installed around the residence, and there were a variety of seeds they might select to begin subsistence farming. ‘Ben’ promised he would return in a few months, then took on some provisions and headed back out into the galaxy. 

Lyra and her husband Galen were fairly new arrivals themselves, and Lyra visited with some frequency over the next months to help them settle and have someone to talk to, often bringing her toddling daughter, Jyn. The little girl was about two years older than the twins, and terribly solemn. She’d seen too much, Lyra said sadly, and changed the subject to the weather. Padmé allowed the diversion, understanding well enough that there were certain things it was simply too difficult to talk about. 

Life was quiet for the next few years. During planting and harvest season, all hands were needed in the fields. Sabé and Padmé would work with the children strapped to their backs while they were still small enough to be carried in slings, and Lyra’s little girl would toddle in her parents wake. Ben came and went, bringing news of the galaxy with him, and occasionally new refugees. Between his visits, he would occasionally send a transmission, but they were few and far between to ensure everyone’s safety. 

As the children grew older and needed to be educated and entertained, the Ersos, Padmé, and Sabé traded off watching over them while the others toiled in the fields on both properties. Padmé was home with Jyn, Luke, and Leia when the Empire finally reached Lah’mu, although she didn’t know it at the time. It wasn’t until Sabé didn’t come home for more than three days that Padmé knew something was wrong. Sometimes during planting they would sleep out for a night or two, but Sabé would never stay away so long without sending word, Padmé was sure of it. Dread already pricking at her heart, Padmé left Jyn - all of eight years old - in charge and started walking. 

Padmé smelled the bodies long before she found them. With no natural predators or scavengers on Lah’mu, the bodies were untouched by carrion feeders and distressingly easy to identify. Their blasters lay close at hand - Lyra and Sabé had died fighting. Padmé bit back her sobs, then dragged both bodies into the hut. She went though everything she could find, quickly packing clothing and some mementos for Jyn, then saying a rushed and teary prayer before firing the hut as she left. As soon as she returned to her own home, she broke down, fingers fumbling her comm as she called for Obi-Wan. 

“Ben - Ben -” Padmé gasped out when they were finally connected.

“Pa - Perri? What’s wrong?” Obi-Wan asked.

“S - Sa - Serra, gone,” Padmé managed to choke out. “Need - need you to come.”

“I’m on my way,” Obi-Wan promised, “don’t open the door for anyone but me.”

Five days after Padmé found Sabé and Lyra dead in the fields, the heat of a starship’s engine burned out the front yard. Padmé huddled in the kitchen, the children locked in her bedroom - Jyn had Padmé’s little holdout blaster, and Padmé waited with the rifle trained at the door. 

“Padmé?” she heard, and she was all but certain it was Obi-Wan. But what if it wasn’t? What if she had been found like Lyra and Galen were found? She waited. A circular point of dull red light appeared in the door, the metal melting away. A clear blue beam followed, and Padmé waited, certain it was a lightsaber but not daring hope it was really Obi-Wan. The door clattered in on the floor, and Padmé was certain the entire sector could hear her heart thundering in her chest.

“Padmé, it’s Obi-Wan, you’re safe now, I’ve come to take you away,” his familiar voice said. Slowly, Padmé rose, still keeping the rifle trained on his silhouette.

“Prove it,” Padmé rasped out. “Prove you’re Obi-Wan.”

“There is little about me you alone would know,” Obi-Wan said gently. “You fell from a larty on Geonosis, and were sent back to Naboo with Anakin Skywalker as your guard. He’d had his arm amputated, and when he came back he had your astromech droid, R2-D2 with him. When the Clone Wars ended, you returned to Naboo to have Anakin’s children, but fled when he proposed to train them as Sith in service to the Empire.”

Padmé swallowed thickly, and the figure slowly moved closer. The lightsaber rose, and azure light washed over Obi-Wan’s features. New lines had appeared around his eyes, new strands of grey salted his hair and beard. But it was Obi-Wan.

“Obi-Wan,” Padmé gasped, and her rifle clattered to the floor. She threw herself forward, and his lightsaber blinked out as he caught her in a firm, warm embrace.

“I have you Padmé,” Obi-Wan promised, and she tilted her head up to kiss him square on the mouth. He froze for a moment, then groaned deeply, arms tightening around her as he deepened the kiss, his beard tickling her lips and cheeks. “Let’s go,” he urged breathlessly when they parted, and Padmé nodded. Turning, she called to the children, giving their agreed on all clear phrase. Jyn, Leia and Luke all knew ‘Ben,’ and greeted him happily. 

With Jyn’s things already packed, and the rest of them not having much, it didn’t take them long to leave. Soon they were all settled in on Obi-Wan’s ship, a ragged looking freighter. It wasn’t terribly large, but Obi-Wan had wanted something he could pilot either by himself or with a single astromech. It had enough room for his purposes - mostly smuggling refugees and carrying information.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Obi-Wan asked when the children had been put to bed that night, sitting next to Padmé and handing her a hot cup of tea. 

“I don’t know really,” Padmé admitted. “Sabé had gone to help put in the Ersos’ crops a few days before I called you. She never came back, so I went to see what had happened. I found her and Lyra shot and left for dead. No sign of Galen, but from the drag marks someone took at least one body away with them. There was an outgoing call from a few days previous, but it was scrambled, so I don’t know who it was to, or what it was about. I know that Galen had enemies - Imperial enemies. I assumed they caught up with them. I - all I could think was - what if they found us too? What if Vader came for his children?” The last was choked out, and she dissolved into sobs - weeping for Lyra and Sabé and Jyn and herself and her children. 

Obi-Wan wrapped his arm around Padmé’s heaving shoulders and hugged her close, shifting her small frame so she could press her face into his chest. Padmé wept long and hard, fisting her hands in Obi-Wan’s soft tunic and clinging to him. Obi-Wan rubbed her back, heart aching for her. 

“You can stay with me as long as you like,” Obi-Wan offered. Padmé nodded against his shoulder, not looking up. She wore herself out crying before long, and Obi-Wan gently lifted her from the bench, carrying her into one of the sleeping cabins and gently putting her to bed. He pulled off her boots, but otherwise left her dressed, silently wishing her good dreams as he kissed her forehead and slipped from the cabin. 

When Padmé rose in the morning, she found all the children already awake, Leia tucked under Obi-Wan’s arm as he paced the narrow galley, calmly explaining the routes through the Outer Rim as he made their first meal porridge. Padmé leaned against the wall, just watching for a while. Jyn, all of eight, was looking after Luke in her prematurely solemn way. Although Padmé had not told the children that Lyra and Sabé were dead, Jyn at least seemed to understand that something terrible had happened back on Lah’mu. She was always a rather grave child though, which saddened Padmé immensely. It didn’t seem right, that a girl so young might know only work and wariness.

“Good morning,” Padmé greeted finally. Obi-Wan looked up at her, and smiled. He looked tired, but otherwise as handsome as ever. He too seemed grave, although Padmé wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him truly happy. Solemn at times, serene, perhaps even content. But happy? Did Jedi even know the feeling? She pushed that unkind thought away as soon as it crossed her mind. Many Jedi she had met seemed happy, content, even joyous. Master Kit Fisto had always had a broad, sharp-toothed smile for her, and Ahsoka had been downright exuberant. 

“Good morning,” Obi-Wan returned. “We’ve been having first meal and a bit of stellar cartography,” he said with a slight smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, but Padmé was unsure when she’d last truly smiled herself. 

“How lovely,” Padmé said. “I’m certainly interested in the first meal portion of that.” Obi-Wan’s smile brightened a bit, and he was soon passing her a bowl of cooked cereal with re-hydrated berries stirred in. 

“We’re running to Dantooine, I diverted from a refugee pickup when I got your call,” Obi-Wan said, settling next to Padmé at the table. 

“I hope we haven’t put you off your schedule?” Padmé asked with a grimace.

“Nothing so serious as that,” Obi-Wan reassured her. “I never have exact pickup dates and times for runs like this. It’ll probably be a tight fit, and you might have to share the cabin though. I’m not sure exactly how many we’ll be picking up, but as far as they know, you’re just more refugees.” Padmé nodded at that. It was probably safest that way.

“Where are we headed from Dantooine?”

“I’m still remembered well on Ansion, so we’ll stop over there to get papers and refuel,” Obi-Wan said with a wry smile. “After that, a roundabout route to Melida / Daan.”

“That’s near Naboo!” Padmé exclaimed excitedly. 

“I cannot land on Naboo,” Obi-Wan warned.

“No, no, I know, but - is there any way to get a message through?”

“I - I can ask around,” Obi-Wan said carefully. “Your family thinks you dead though Padmé. Is it wise to break your secrecy?”

“I - no, probably not,” Padmé admitted. “Sorry, I just - I miss them so much Obi-Wan.”

“I know,” Obi-Wan said gently, laying his arm around her shoulders in a half-hug. “I know.” Padmé sagged into his side, blinking back tears. 

“Tell me about Melida / Daan,” Padmé asked, wanting something else to think about. 

“As you probably know, it was settled almost simultaneously by the Melida and Daan peoples,” Obi-Wan began, and Padmé leaned into his warmth, listening to the sad history of the war torn world, and Obi-Wan’s role in helping them find peace. It seemed his efforts as a Jedi had garnered them yet another safe harbour, and like Lah’mu, there was little Melida / Daan had to offer the Empire, so the refugees would likely be safe there. Many, Obi-Wan said, were from formerly Separatist worlds where the Empire had taken punitive measures once the Clone Wars ended. With Melida / Daan still recovering from generations of war though, they were more than happy to welcome refugees of almost any faction, so long as they agreed there would be no hostilities on planet.

Padmé, exhausted by her wary vigil since Sabé and Lyra’s deaths, dozed against Obi-Wan’s shoulder as he spoke. She roused herself after a while, smiling muzzily when she realized that Obi-Wan had gone back to stellar cartography and Luke was cuddled in his lap as he taught them. He’d be a good father, Padmé thought, as saddened by the idea that he had no children as she had been that Bail and Breha had no children.

“How is Bail?” Padmé asked, and Obi-Wan chuckled, looking down at her. 

“He’s doing well. We’ll meet up in a few months, and he has Jedi protection,” Obi-Wan reassured. Padmé felt her eyes go round with surprise. She’d thought Obi-Wan the last of his people after Anakin boasted about destroying Master Yoda. “Knight It’kla was on Caamasi, and passed unobserved to Alderaan among the Caamasi Remnant. He’s part of Bail’s staff now, and the Jedi Praxeum on Alderaan, while destroyed, was almost entirely evacuated beforehand,” he explained with a roguish smile. 

“Jedi Praxeum?” Padmé asked with a smile, and Obi-Wan nodded. 

“While the Coruscant Temple was our home and most populous base of operations, we had other Temples and buildings. Many had warning when the purge began, and were able to secret themselves away before ‘troopers arrived to accomplish the execution order,” Obi-Wan said. Padmé supposed she could understand that. 

“If - if there are Jedi still, the Emperor -” Padmé asked, not entirely sure _what_ she was asking. 

“There have been a few attempts against the Emperor and - Vader,” Obi-Wan said, his small smile fading away. “More than one who went to try and eliminate him has met their end on Vader’s ‘saber,” he said grimly. “Others have been seen again with red blades of their own.” Padmé shivered at that. A red blade, she knew, was a sign of the Sith. “Hunting Jedi and quelling rebellious worlds have been Vader’s chief pursuits these past few years.” She shivered again, and Obi-Wan’s arm tightened around her. 

By the time they reached Dantooine a few days later, the shine of space travel had come off for the children, although Obi-Wan and Padmé both did their best to amuse them. Jyn was a big help, when she wasn’t lording her position as eldest over Luke and Leia. Padmé herself didn’t mind too much. Partly, she thought, she had been used to prolonged travel once. Partly, she enjoyed curling up with Obi-Wan in his bunk each ship’s night, although neither of them mentioned the kiss they’d shared on Lah’mu, nor was that intimacy repeated. Still, just sleeping in the same room eased Padmé.

When they landed, Padmé led the children off the ship, Luke and Leia streaking off as if propelled by turbojets. Jyn wasn’t far behind them, just as eager to stretch her legs. Padmé called after them to stay close, but was fairly certain she’d have to hunt them down in a few hours before departure. The refugees boarded in dribs and drabs, carrying their lives on their backs. Padmé recognized their weary expressions from the mirror, and did her best to stay out of the way. When Obi-Wan let her know the last family was boarding, Padmé called the children back, hoping she wouldn’t actually have to go looking for them. Thankfully, they were still in hailing distance, and came trooping back at her shout. 

It was a short trip to Ansion, but even in that time, Obi-Wan discovered an unaccounted for and unaccompanied child hidden away in a crawl space. He gave his name proudly when asked though; Cassian Jeron Andor, of Fest. A Separatist manufacturing world, Padmé remembered, and considering he openly wore a blaster, they had likely been on opposite sides of the last war despite that he was only twelve years old at his own best guess. 

Obi-Wan ‘hired’ Cassian on as a guard for the ship with a suppressed smile. The boy took his role quite seriously though, not wanting to disembark when they reached Melida / Daan. After all, who would guard the babies while Obi-Wan was flying? Padmé wisely kept her lip buttoned while they negotiated Cassian’s contract. In the end, it was a five year deal, although most of Cassian’s remuneration would be in room and board. 

“We’re all staying on,” Padmé declared when Obi-Wan ferried them, after a few more stops, to the lush jungle world of Yavin IV, where there was a well hidden Jedi enclave and the germ of a Rebel base. Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows bemusedly, but didn’t argue. They stayed on Yavin IV for a month, and for the first time, Leia and Luke were around not only Jedi, but Jedi younglings. Padmé watched warily at first, slightly troubled by the awed expressions on her children's’ faces when they watched the Jedi do just about anything. Even when the Jedi were sitting like a row of stones in silent meditation, Luke and Leia were mesmerized. 

“They feel the Force within us,” Obi-Wan explained gently, helping her tuck the children in one evening. “It is not something that can simply be shut off. They are Force sensitive, and always will be, even if that sensitivity is never trained.” 

“Will it harm them?” Padmé asked anxiously. “Not being trained.”

“It could,” Obi-Wan said. “They tap into the Force even now without training. Training the ability makes it a more reliable sense and tool, and also removes the unpredictability of instinct.” Obi-Wan sighed. “It wasn’t training Anakin that made him dangerous,” he said gently. “And if you want them to have at least a little control - including the ability to shield themselves against those who would harm them - this would be a good place to start. I understand if you have reservations about me training them. _I_ have reservations about me training them. I failed spectacularly with Anakin, and I cannot promise you I won’t fail them.” 

“I - it’s not you,” Padmé promised. “I just - ignorance breeds fear.” Obi-Wan smiled at that, big and bright. “What? What did I say?” Padme asked bemusedly. 

“That’s something Yoda said,” Obi-Wan said, fondly and a little sadly. “Part of the Jedi Code is the avowal to seek knowledge over ignorance.” Padmé couldn’t help her own smile at that. Obi-Wan had been more reserved since they arrived on Yavin IV, and she was pleased to see him smile, even briefly. There might be very few Jedi, but many of them looked to Obi-Wan for leadership, and he retreated into the staid persona of a High Councillor, grave and bloodless. It would have been infuriating if it wasn’t so understandable. 

Padmé couldn’t help but wonder too, if her exuberant greeting on Lah’mu had made him uncomfortable. She knew Obi-Wan had been enamoured of Satine Kryze, but there had been little to no indication of a physical relationship between them that Padmé had seen. They could have simply been discreet, she supposed. But it was equally possible that Obi-Wan didn’t experience that type of desire. They’d never exactly had a conversation about his preferences.

When they left Yavin IV, Luke and Leia both had the basics of meditation down, and Obi-Wan had begun training all the children - Cassian included, despite his protestations that he was a man grown - in hand to hand. Mostly it involved how to fall properly and break a hold - they were too small for much else to be effective. Still, it was a start, and Obi-Wan had begun learning similar skills even younger. They bounced from base to base, meeting informants and ferrying weapons, refugees, even medical supplies. 

Padmé offered herself as a co-pilot before they’d been aboard a week, feeling she’d go nuts if she didn’t contribute to the operation. Obi-Wan happily surrendered that duty whenever Padmé wished to take the steering yoke, and they split everything else equitably. Whoever wasn’t minding the console was usually entertaining the children, although the older children would sometimes sit in the cockpit with whoever was piloting, prompting lessons in basic flight controls and astrogation. Cassian especially seemed enamoured of the stars, and Obi-Wan taught the boy diligently.

Watching Obi-Wan with the children - and he treated Jyn and Cassian just like Luke and Leia - only strengthened Padmé’s belief that Obi-Wan - Obi-Wan would be an excellent father. She didn’t know how much was his innate kindness, and how much was Jedi trained compassion. But it was clear he saw each of their charges as independent beings worthy of his time and respect.

The children reciprocated that respect without question, but they drew out Obi-Wan’s playful side too. Lessons became games and stories with Obi-Wan, but the competition never pitted the children against one another, rather encouraging them to work together towards a solution. Watching him with them, Padmé couldn’t help but remember Anakin’s complaints. She couldn’t imagine the man she saw before her holding a child back; cautioning them, certainly. But also teaching and loving them.

Obi-Wan’s care with the children didn’t mean he was never flummoxed - Leia particularly had a way of backfooting Obi-Wan with perceptive and slightly intrusive questions. Obi-Wan would do his best to answer, he lived by his Code, and pursuit of knowledge was integral in that. Even so, when Leia asked if he was their father, Obi-Wan stammered and looked beseechingly to Padmé. 

“Obi-Wan is your uncle,” Padmé said carefully. She had always known they’d eventually need to have this conversation, and had prepared for the eventuality. “Your father - your father was Anakin Skywalker.” Leia likely would have pressed on down that avenue of questioning, but Luke, always a bit more perceptive of others emotions, grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, forestalling her interrogation. Leia huffed, treated Padmé and Obi-Wan to a look that clearly indicated she wasn’t through, and subsided, letting Obi-Wan direct them back to their lesson. 

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said quietly that night as they prepared to turn in. “I - I should have handled that better. I knew they would ask eventually.”

“They don’t need to know everything right now,” Padmé said gently. “I - I won’t deny what Anakin was to me once, but it - it’s been a long time now, since I reconciled myself that Anakin - isn’t Anakin anymore. The man I loved - he’s gone.”

“I wish I could believe that there was light in him still,” Obi-Wan confessed, gently plaiting her long hair for bed. “If Quinlan could return from the Dark, why not Anakin? If Ventress could at least find a path through the grey -”

“Stop,” Padmé urged gently. She gently eased her hair from his hands and knelt up, resting her hands on his shoulders. “Anakin made his own choices, let his fears guide him. I don’t know if that could have been helped. But I can’t - I can’t play what ifs Obi-Wan. Anakin is gone. All we can do now is endeavour the overthrow the Emperor and the monster that wears my husband’s face.” 

Padmé shifted her hands to cradle his bearded jaw, scanning his face. Obi-Wan was about a decade her senior, but the years since the rise of the Empire hadn’t been kind to him. Worry lines were worn deep on his face, and his beard was almost fully grey, wings of white streaking from his temples. He was still one of the most handsome men Padmé had ever seen. Leaning up, Padmé kissed him, softly this time, nothing like the rushed, enthusiastic kiss those months ago on Lah’mu.

“Are - are you sure?” Obi-Wan asked when they parted, pale eyes searching her face. “I care for you Padmé, deeply. But I will never be able to make you the center of my universe.”

“I would never ask it of you,” Padmé returned gently. Being Anakin’s polestar, she had begun to understand, was part of what had made him so unbalanced. His fear of losing her had overwhelmed his trust in her strength and ability, and he had set aside his own morals for the sake of power. Without trust, there was no solid foundation to a relationship, Padmé’s mother had always claimed, and Padmé was beginning to agree. She’d had fiery and illicit passion with Anakin. But with Obi-Wan - there was no one she trusted more, and that had been true even while she and Anakin were together. 

“I enjoy your company Obi-Wan, and I want to see where this could take us,” Padme said gently. “I truly believe we will always be friends. But I also think - I think I’m ready for us to be more than that, if you’re willing.” 

“You’ll have to be patient with me,” Obi-Wan husked out, leaning in to kiss her. “It has been - a very long time since I’ve had a lover.”

“I’ve always been patient,” Padmé said. 

“Liar,” Obi-Wan teased fondly, and Padmé could hear the smile in his voice. Padmé laughed softly, and kissed him again. 

“I can be though,” Padmé promised, “and you’re worth that Obi-Wan.” Obi-Wan blushed adorably at that, and Padmé had to kiss him again.


End file.
